主播大秀

Love is in the air,
Everywhere I look around....


Yes Ladies, it's that time again, when you must forget your inhibitions and shyness,

Project yourself, take the plunge, after all it will be four long years before you get another chance

Today is the 29th February, a Leap Year...

So if you are a lady, truly, madly, deeply in love, but have a beau who is simply dragging his heels,

then why not pop the question??

Or if you are still youngish, free and single, why not try INTERNET DATING or the Personal Column in a Newspaper??

A few years ago, quite a few actually, before the internet and emails, my two good friends tried to take charge and intervene in my love life.

this is back in the big, bad city of Leeds by the way. Anyway,

Unbeknown to me, they placed an advert for me in one of those personal columns. You know the thing, or perhaps you don't, but through some poetic licence, I sounded rather delicious, and one morning I awoke to find 72 letters laying on my doormat.

Well, if only I had those letters now. My word !!!

One guy told me he liked the quiet life, (he was a grave digger)

Another said he was a wealthy business man with a fast food outlet, (he served hot dogs on a stand outside a nightclub in Wakefield)

More sinister was a beautiful, charming, letter full of romantic prose. It was from a seemingly wonderful guy who told me he loved writing letters, had loads of time on his hands and swore he was going nowhere fast (he was a LIFER, banged up in a Maximum Security Prison).

Needless to say, I admonished my good friends, and good intentional though it was, their efforts to rekindle my love life was definitely NOT needed.

Well, the years went by and my married friends also found themselves single again, too old for discos and nightclubs, so they joined various internet dating sites.

Oh, the fun they had. I was often in hysterics with the tales they told me... Breaking beds, love rats, stolen identities and fantasists. Married men up to no good and dalliances with toy boys. Goodness me, it certainly opened my eyes !!! Talk about Carry On Films !!!

Anyway, back in 2004 their internet antics inspired me to write a poem...

It's very tongue in cheek, a wry look at.... Internet Dating, (ideas taken from my friends you understand, one of whom was 43 for many, many years)

(and all names are purely fictional in this poem)

LOOKING FOR LOVE - On the Internet

I'm single again, and must get a life,
Won't anyone take me for their wife?
There's SEX in the city
but not much on COLL
Does anyone want me for their Doll?

I'll try internet dating, Yes, I'll give it a whirl,
So I sign up with Love-Match as "Tiree Girl"
I create a profile, it sounds rather appealing
I leave out the Guiness and my penchant for creeling

I skip the bit about weight and size
Cos Tiree Girl ate all the pies
So.... I'm a shapely blonde, aged 32
A little white lie, But it's almost true.

This island girl seeks a Highland Guy
Oh come now boys, don't be shy...
I check my emails by the hour
eeeek, there's one just in from Arinagour.

At last some contact from afar
It seems Tiree Girl has become a Star.
I'm in demand no longer alone,
dozens of suitors on the phone

But TractorMan sounds a bit of a pest
and Nobbly Neil wears a string vest.
A date from hell, stood up in Oban,
Don't think I'm destined to find a man.

Suddenly things look up, hardly surprising
Some decent men on the horizon.
Husky Highlander sounds a bit of a dish
and Man from Skye says he likes to fish.

Kilted Man loves his
slippers and pipe
But Stevie from Mallaig,
mmm, he's just my type.

A handsome young fisherman
he looks rather quite hunky
Splashes his cash
Tall, dark and chunky.

Says we'll dine upon lobsters,
not fryups and pies.
He comes without baggage,
and he doesn't tell lies.

So it's 5* hotels
and champagne by the bottle
Tiree Girl
gets her love at full Throttle

Internet dating
or Island Blogs,
To find Mr. Right,
you first kiss the FROGS

XXXXXXXX



This Poem is dedicated to love seekers everywhere, especially my two good mates, the most successful (EX) internet daters, extraordinaire, who did in fact, FIND LOVE ON THE INTERNET and both are extremely happy.

there is however a serious side to Internet Dating.

Internet dating is certainly popular and here to stay, but anyone looking for love, men, or women, should proceed with caution.

There are predators out there, ready to pounce on the unwary and gullible, They are silver tongued charmers, smooth, debonaire and total con men/ and con women. LOVE RATS.

On television recently there was a programme about lonely ladies of a certain age falling for men on the internet. The photos of the men looked like models, handsome, blonde, charming.

The truth however was heartbreaking, They were scammers, rip-off merchants.... Once the victims had been drawn in to their WEB of lies, they started asking for money and were in fact traced to an Internet Cafe in Lagos in Nigeria.

But to end on a positive note.....

2008 is a leap year, and if you are in love with a guy who is dragging his feet over setting the date....

Well, go on, take the bull by the horns and ask him yourself.

You never know....

Have a good weekend all

and Happy Mother's Day to my lovely mummy, NELL

xxxxx
xxxxxxx