CARRY ON CAMPING??? NOT ON YOUR NELLIE AND WHY???
Posted: Friday, 04 July 2008 |
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind.
I am forever under-whelmed at my intelligence.
At the divine inspirations which frequently tell me 鈥淚t鈥檚 a good idea (at the time - but rarely is).
And so it was that one of these inspired moments led me to believe that a solitary camping trip to Tiree was a good idea.
TIREE LANDMARK - THE BEAUTIFUL PINK HOUSE.
Fuelled with enthusiasm and a lust for the great wilderness, I packed my tent and the kitchen sink and headed to the island next door.
Undaunted by the gloomy weather forecast of high winds and heavy rain, I boarded the Calmac Ferry with a song in my heart.
鈥淟isten to the sound of the pouring rain
Telling me just what a fool I鈥檝e been
Leaving Coll in warm sunshine and blue skies, I arrived on Tiree to a heavy black cloud, which singled me out and hung menacingly above my head.
WHY PICK ON ME? a black cloud above my head
Horizontal rain and gale force winds quickly followed.
Undeterred by this (foreseen) turn of events I decided against wild camping and opted for the sanctuary of the island鈥檚 official camp site, where at least I could have a hot shower.
Two hours later I was still battling to erect my tent, the gale force wind ripped and tore at the flapping canvas of this 2 bed roomed monster.
Eventually, with the help of some kind hearted fellow campers, who took pity on the crazy woman, the tent was up, but the air bed was down. The foreboding 鈥渟ssssss-ing 鈥 sound of leaking air, which every camper dreads meant I would be sleeping on hard, thistly ground.
THE MAJESTIC THISTLE, (rather prickly on the old bum tho')
There was little protection at the campsite and my carefully pitched tent was rather exposed to the full force of the Atlantic gale, which was now at its zenith. I sat inside shivering and listening to the creaking sounds of tent poles under severe strain. I decided that if the men in white coats arrived, I would go peacefully and not put up a fight.
Happy days !!
Soon a caravan pitched alongside me. Other poor souls seeking refuge I wrongly assumed.. In the window was a sign which read:
鈥淎h, young newly weds鈥 thought I, 鈥渉ow romantic鈥
I was horrified to see in the caravan, not newly weds, but a man, 50 going on 19, leering at me from behind his steamed up window. With a tango-ed perm-a-tan, his shirt opened to the waist and a zero carat gold medallion hung about his grizzled grey hairy chest.
As I pegged down my tent for the 100th time, I pretended that I had not seen his leery, toothless grin nor his reptilian eye which winked in a saucy but revolting manner.
Yikes, a mountain man I cringed, all he needs is a banjo.
DELIVERANCE sprang to mind and I decided to sleep with my clothes on in case tangoman came AKNOCKIN鈥
The hard ground was unforgiving, and my back ached, the two dogs sat atop of me trying to steal what warmth I had. Sleep was elusive, the storm raged on whipping at every tiny chink in my tent. Finally two of the tent poles snapped under pressure and the tent collapsed.
Fearing assistance from Tangoman, I thought beggar this for a game of soldiers and climbed into my car and headed to the hostel.
I returned the next day, gathered up the ripped remnants of my totally wrecked tent and dumped it unceremoniously in the public skip.
I felt strangely liberated. No more tent, no more camping - EVER !! My camping days are well and truly over.
For a further 72 hours the rain and wind continued to lash Tiree. Ignoring the weather forecast had been foolish and had cost me my tent.
The next two nights were spent in a homely B and B where I re-discovered the joys of an electric blanket. I felt so cosy and warm and safe.
Pretty Black House, Tiree.
When I finally ventured out in the car, a bird, fleeing from the storm, flew inside my car. He took up residence beneath the steering column, dried himself off and chirped quite merrily as I taxied him around Tiree. Try as I may to lure him out, he would not budge and became my companion for the remainder of the wet and otherwise miserable day.
Scarinish Bay, Tiree, "Washed up" (a bit like how I felt really)
Thursday, the storm is over and I sit here writing in scorching sunshine. I鈥檓 having a picnic overlooking a beautiful bay. Earlier I had walked to a remote rocky outlet and accidentally stumbled upon a rather large, fluffy chick, totally hidden amongst the rocks. The parents watched anxiously as I moved quickly away.
GULL CHICK HIDDEN AMONGST THE ROCKS
Two gulls deep in conversation, whispered as I passed by...
THE WHISPERING SEAGULLS
A snipe posed beautifully for a photograph. All was well with the world.
SNIPE POSING ON FENCE POST, ISLE OF TIREE
The sunshine has made everything better, the storm is a distant memory.
COLOURFUL LOBSTER CREELS, READY FOR WORK
I am catching the boat back to Coll tonight at 6.30 pm .
The sun has finally set on my camping days....
Will I miss Camping?
I will certainly miss the romantic notions of camping which exists inside my head:
The delicious smells of bacon sizzling in the pan
Constant sunshine and warm gentle breezes
Soft ground and the fragrance of crushed thyme.
Barbequing prawns and toasting sticky pink marshmallows on the campfire
Waking to the sound of birdsong and stumbling upon a startled hare as he sleeps in the machair.
Being at one with nature,
Feeling wild and free
Will I miss camping?
Yes, I think I will.
Have a good weekend everyone !!
XX
I am forever under-whelmed at my intelligence.
At the divine inspirations which frequently tell me 鈥淚t鈥檚 a good idea (at the time - but rarely is).
And so it was that one of these inspired moments led me to believe that a solitary camping trip to Tiree was a good idea.
TIREE LANDMARK - THE BEAUTIFUL PINK HOUSE.
Fuelled with enthusiasm and a lust for the great wilderness, I packed my tent and the kitchen sink and headed to the island next door.
Undaunted by the gloomy weather forecast of high winds and heavy rain, I boarded the Calmac Ferry with a song in my heart.
鈥淟isten to the sound of the pouring rain
Telling me just what a fool I鈥檝e been
Leaving Coll in warm sunshine and blue skies, I arrived on Tiree to a heavy black cloud, which singled me out and hung menacingly above my head.
WHY PICK ON ME? a black cloud above my head
Horizontal rain and gale force winds quickly followed.
Undeterred by this (foreseen) turn of events I decided against wild camping and opted for the sanctuary of the island鈥檚 official camp site, where at least I could have a hot shower.
Two hours later I was still battling to erect my tent, the gale force wind ripped and tore at the flapping canvas of this 2 bed roomed monster.
Eventually, with the help of some kind hearted fellow campers, who took pity on the crazy woman, the tent was up, but the air bed was down. The foreboding 鈥渟ssssss-ing 鈥 sound of leaking air, which every camper dreads meant I would be sleeping on hard, thistly ground.
THE MAJESTIC THISTLE, (rather prickly on the old bum tho')
There was little protection at the campsite and my carefully pitched tent was rather exposed to the full force of the Atlantic gale, which was now at its zenith. I sat inside shivering and listening to the creaking sounds of tent poles under severe strain. I decided that if the men in white coats arrived, I would go peacefully and not put up a fight.
Happy days !!
Soon a caravan pitched alongside me. Other poor souls seeking refuge I wrongly assumed.. In the window was a sign which read:
鈥淎h, young newly weds鈥 thought I, 鈥渉ow romantic鈥
I was horrified to see in the caravan, not newly weds, but a man, 50 going on 19, leering at me from behind his steamed up window. With a tango-ed perm-a-tan, his shirt opened to the waist and a zero carat gold medallion hung about his grizzled grey hairy chest.
As I pegged down my tent for the 100th time, I pretended that I had not seen his leery, toothless grin nor his reptilian eye which winked in a saucy but revolting manner.
Yikes, a mountain man I cringed, all he needs is a banjo.
DELIVERANCE sprang to mind and I decided to sleep with my clothes on in case tangoman came AKNOCKIN鈥
The hard ground was unforgiving, and my back ached, the two dogs sat atop of me trying to steal what warmth I had. Sleep was elusive, the storm raged on whipping at every tiny chink in my tent. Finally two of the tent poles snapped under pressure and the tent collapsed.
Fearing assistance from Tangoman, I thought beggar this for a game of soldiers and climbed into my car and headed to the hostel.
I returned the next day, gathered up the ripped remnants of my totally wrecked tent and dumped it unceremoniously in the public skip.
I felt strangely liberated. No more tent, no more camping - EVER !! My camping days are well and truly over.
For a further 72 hours the rain and wind continued to lash Tiree. Ignoring the weather forecast had been foolish and had cost me my tent.
The next two nights were spent in a homely B and B where I re-discovered the joys of an electric blanket. I felt so cosy and warm and safe.
Pretty Black House, Tiree.
When I finally ventured out in the car, a bird, fleeing from the storm, flew inside my car. He took up residence beneath the steering column, dried himself off and chirped quite merrily as I taxied him around Tiree. Try as I may to lure him out, he would not budge and became my companion for the remainder of the wet and otherwise miserable day.
Scarinish Bay, Tiree, "Washed up" (a bit like how I felt really)
Thursday, the storm is over and I sit here writing in scorching sunshine. I鈥檓 having a picnic overlooking a beautiful bay. Earlier I had walked to a remote rocky outlet and accidentally stumbled upon a rather large, fluffy chick, totally hidden amongst the rocks. The parents watched anxiously as I moved quickly away.
GULL CHICK HIDDEN AMONGST THE ROCKS
Two gulls deep in conversation, whispered as I passed by...
THE WHISPERING SEAGULLS
A snipe posed beautifully for a photograph. All was well with the world.
SNIPE POSING ON FENCE POST, ISLE OF TIREE
The sunshine has made everything better, the storm is a distant memory.
COLOURFUL LOBSTER CREELS, READY FOR WORK
I am catching the boat back to Coll tonight at 6.30 pm .
The sun has finally set on my camping days....
Will I miss Camping?
I will certainly miss the romantic notions of camping which exists inside my head:
The delicious smells of bacon sizzling in the pan
Constant sunshine and warm gentle breezes
Soft ground and the fragrance of crushed thyme.
Barbequing prawns and toasting sticky pink marshmallows on the campfire
Waking to the sound of birdsong and stumbling upon a startled hare as he sleeps in the machair.
Being at one with nature,
Feeling wild and free
Will I miss camping?
Yes, I think I will.
Have a good weekend everyone !!
XX
ANOTHER HARD DAY AT THE OFFICE. IT'S ALL RIGHT FOR SUM !!
Posted: Wednesday, 09 July 2008 |
I really must catch up with my book-keeping, A hard day at the office is on the cards.
Excel spread sheet, add, sum, formulae, Totals.
My office is a very happy and healthy office, it's called THE BEACH.
ISLE OF COLL BEACHES
Yes, leaving the laptop and Excel spread sheet behind I pack some A4 paper, a ruler and a few pencils.
My blonde head is left on the shelf today. I am going to do all the SUMS in my sensible, intelligent head. Mental arithmetic. (Read somewhere that this keeps you from going senile, so there's hope for me yet)
So what is the magic formula for a happy office????.....
Well, to sum it all up:-
Take one room with a view...
an infinity pool helps staff morale.
ADD
A vase of fresh flowers
a delicate, natural fragrance
Eat healthily in the open air dining room
Make sure the kids are happy in the Creche
The weather is just so perfect, but my paperwork is piling up. I have to get stuck in.
However, I cannot face a day indoors
not with the sun shining and the sea sparkling,
so I pack my rucksack with basic requirements such as pen, paper and ruler
Boiled egg and tomato sandwiches
Fruit and plenty to drink (soft drinks that is)
Not forgetting company policy on casual dress,
Musn't overdress you understand.
I head to my office.
and find a nice flat slab of rock where I work diligently,
drawing columns with my ruler and entering data with my pencil.
Suddenly I remember how to add up in my head.
Phew, I'm working exceptionally hard.
I mop my brow...
But, the machair is so soft and inviting, I lay down, just for a few minutes to relax,
All around me the sweet fragrance of the meadow
I close my eyes, and drift, drift, drift away....
Suddenly a fly lands on my nose.
I wake with a startle. The sun has moved, the tide has returned.
It's 7 o'clock at night.
time to head home....
Another hard day at the office (tee hee)
主播大秀 ISLAND BLOGGER BARNEY (from Swithoid) SAILS INTO COLL At his own peril !! Tee Hee
Posted: Friday, 25 July 2008 |
主播大秀 Island blogger arrives in Arinagour Bay, Isle of Coll..... and...
BubbleShare: - Play some .
Well, well, well,
He promised it for long enough, and sure enough he did it !!
Sailing from Sweden to Coll
surviving raging storms
huge seas
and one or two pea soupers,
Finally, unannounced, he arrived on my doorstep
Barney from Swithoid, arrives on Coll.
I was sat at my laptop, reading an email from Carol from France,
In my granny's nightie, hair agog, no makeup, and Immac smeared
under my nose, (you've been there girls, I know you have)
Yikes, crikey moses, who's that walking past the window in a yellow suit.
Too late to hide behind the sofa, has he seen me, No, No, No!
Quick dash into the shower, Immac removed, I poke one eye through the crack in the door.
"Gud morneen Squidgee", says a voice in a strange Scottishy/Nordic twang,
"Ahm in the shower" I cried, the penny dropped who it was.
"I'll be back in 15 meenits" says the voice from the step.
Holy Macaroni, 15 meenits, sorry Minutes...
Shower, right, take nightie off first,
hair, yes shampoo it
Clothes?
Right what fits? Nothing? they've all shrunk in the wash
Tick, tock, tick tock,
Shove all the ironing in the cupboard,
Wash up quickly,
I'm like a scalded cock
a headless chicken,
I should have got dressed
Be prepared, the Scout's Motto
No time to argue with myself
My head is spinning
Oh gawd whot's to do..
Anyways, Barney and his first mate, Henry from South Africa wait in the garden. The weather is miserable. Oh what a shame, I so would have liked to have shown Barney around Coll when the sun was out.
As we drive around in my trusty Warrior, Barney cautiously slips on his seat belt. He thinks I haven't seen him but I have. I become nervous, what if they think I am a bad driver.
BubbleShare: - Powered by BubbleShare
They speak excellent English, and only rarely break into Swedish, Barney asks if I am from the Midlands, I say, No, Yorkshire, can't you tell.
he can't, but I am.
After a tour of the island, we jump into the dinghy and have tea aboard the sailing vessel. It rolls about, and I feel a bit queasy, Barney and Henry, have soup and cheese, and some Swedish hard bread - Knackebrod
Barney offers me a shot of Whisky, but as you know, I don't drink.
The boat rolls even more, My stomach goes one way, and I go another.
I say that I have to get back to the dogs and ask to be rowed ashore.
Later, I joined the guys in the Hotel for a lovely meal, and we had some really good company. It was a splendid evening.
I wrote a little ditty for Barney to make him laugh (or cry more likely). I asked if I should put it on Island blogging and he said yes,
so here it is.
Based on the Owl and the pussycat nonsense verse...
It is obviously complete and utter nonsense but it gave us a laugh in the pub, after a few drinks that is...
Oh and by the way, it's not cheeky either and if you think it is, then all I can say is .....It's all in YOUR mind.....
Barney and Squidgy went to sea,
In a beautiful PEE green boat
They took some booze on their afternoon cruise
in the hope it would keep them afloat.
Barney looked up
to the black clouds above
as he sang to a small guitar
"Oh Squidgy you're sweet
In fact you're unique
But I'm rather put off by
the sight of webbed feet
Said Squidgy to the sailor
"You're a wrinkly old dish.
and I'm not here for the NOOKIE
I just want to fish".
So Barney whipped out his tackle
and produced a fine Rod
and said to the otter
"Let's go catch some cod.
Now take a firm grip
and wiggle your bait
With this very long rod
You're bound to catch skate"
Said Barney to Squidgy
Shall we hit the high seas
But Squidgy grew nervous
and downed G & T's
The weather was squally,
The sea was quite rough
Said the otter to the sailor
"Sod this Barney,
I've had enough"
"Calm down Squidgeee
Tis only a breeze,
Pass me a Knackebrod
and slice me some cheese"
(Knackbrod my Elbow
I'm below deck with a nutter
He's not getting cheese
I'll slice him some butter)
So they sailed into a bay
and the boat it was moored
Barney drank more whisky
then fell over board.
Alas time went quickly
and Barney sailed home
Squidgy was sad
Left there all alone
As she waved from the pier
the otter forced a tear
'Til Barney yelled out
"Squidgy I'll be back,,
same time next year"
But Squidgy's grief was quite brief
For soon there was joy
With the arrival of twins.
A girl and a boy.
(more grand-kiddies you understand, all mini-me's)
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
With weather still poor, the following morning, First Mate Henry arrived once again on my doorstep and asked if he could print off some weather charts on my computer.
Twas the least I could do..
Bon voyage boys and a safe journey home, via Barra, Skye and maybe St. Kilda..
Email me and let me know when you have arrived home safe.
You too Henry from South Africa
It was a pleasure to meet you both, and despite the dire weather, I hope what you saw of Coll, you enjoyed.
Here are a few postcards, to remind you of your visit to Coll, July 2008 !!!
BubbleShare: - Play some .
Well, well, well,
He promised it for long enough, and sure enough he did it !!
Sailing from Sweden to Coll
surviving raging storms
huge seas
and one or two pea soupers,
Finally, unannounced, he arrived on my doorstep
Barney from Swithoid, arrives on Coll.
I was sat at my laptop, reading an email from Carol from France,
In my granny's nightie, hair agog, no makeup, and Immac smeared
under my nose, (you've been there girls, I know you have)
Yikes, crikey moses, who's that walking past the window in a yellow suit.
Too late to hide behind the sofa, has he seen me, No, No, No!
Quick dash into the shower, Immac removed, I poke one eye through the crack in the door.
"Gud morneen Squidgee", says a voice in a strange Scottishy/Nordic twang,
"Ahm in the shower" I cried, the penny dropped who it was.
"I'll be back in 15 meenits" says the voice from the step.
Holy Macaroni, 15 meenits, sorry Minutes...
Shower, right, take nightie off first,
hair, yes shampoo it
Clothes?
Right what fits? Nothing? they've all shrunk in the wash
Tick, tock, tick tock,
Shove all the ironing in the cupboard,
Wash up quickly,
I'm like a scalded cock
a headless chicken,
I should have got dressed
Be prepared, the Scout's Motto
No time to argue with myself
My head is spinning
Oh gawd whot's to do..
Anyways, Barney and his first mate, Henry from South Africa wait in the garden. The weather is miserable. Oh what a shame, I so would have liked to have shown Barney around Coll when the sun was out.
As we drive around in my trusty Warrior, Barney cautiously slips on his seat belt. He thinks I haven't seen him but I have. I become nervous, what if they think I am a bad driver.
BubbleShare: - Powered by BubbleShare
They speak excellent English, and only rarely break into Swedish, Barney asks if I am from the Midlands, I say, No, Yorkshire, can't you tell.
he can't, but I am.
After a tour of the island, we jump into the dinghy and have tea aboard the sailing vessel. It rolls about, and I feel a bit queasy, Barney and Henry, have soup and cheese, and some Swedish hard bread - Knackebrod
Barney offers me a shot of Whisky, but as you know, I don't drink.
The boat rolls even more, My stomach goes one way, and I go another.
I say that I have to get back to the dogs and ask to be rowed ashore.
Later, I joined the guys in the Hotel for a lovely meal, and we had some really good company. It was a splendid evening.
I wrote a little ditty for Barney to make him laugh (or cry more likely). I asked if I should put it on Island blogging and he said yes,
so here it is.
Based on the Owl and the pussycat nonsense verse...
It is obviously complete and utter nonsense but it gave us a laugh in the pub, after a few drinks that is...
Oh and by the way, it's not cheeky either and if you think it is, then all I can say is .....It's all in YOUR mind.....
Barney and Squidgy went to sea,
In a beautiful PEE green boat
They took some booze on their afternoon cruise
in the hope it would keep them afloat.
Barney looked up
to the black clouds above
as he sang to a small guitar
"Oh Squidgy you're sweet
In fact you're unique
But I'm rather put off by
the sight of webbed feet
Said Squidgy to the sailor
"You're a wrinkly old dish.
and I'm not here for the NOOKIE
I just want to fish".
So Barney whipped out his tackle
and produced a fine Rod
and said to the otter
"Let's go catch some cod.
Now take a firm grip
and wiggle your bait
With this very long rod
You're bound to catch skate"
Said Barney to Squidgy
Shall we hit the high seas
But Squidgy grew nervous
and downed G & T's
The weather was squally,
The sea was quite rough
Said the otter to the sailor
"Sod this Barney,
I've had enough"
"Calm down Squidgeee
Tis only a breeze,
Pass me a Knackebrod
and slice me some cheese"
(Knackbrod my Elbow
I'm below deck with a nutter
He's not getting cheese
I'll slice him some butter)
So they sailed into a bay
and the boat it was moored
Barney drank more whisky
then fell over board.
Alas time went quickly
and Barney sailed home
Squidgy was sad
Left there all alone
As she waved from the pier
the otter forced a tear
'Til Barney yelled out
"Squidgy I'll be back,,
same time next year"
But Squidgy's grief was quite brief
For soon there was joy
With the arrival of twins.
A girl and a boy.
(more grand-kiddies you understand, all mini-me's)
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
With weather still poor, the following morning, First Mate Henry arrived once again on my doorstep and asked if he could print off some weather charts on my computer.
Twas the least I could do..
Bon voyage boys and a safe journey home, via Barra, Skye and maybe St. Kilda..
Email me and let me know when you have arrived home safe.
You too Henry from South Africa
It was a pleasure to meet you both, and despite the dire weather, I hope what you saw of Coll, you enjoyed.
Here are a few postcards, to remind you of your visit to Coll, July 2008 !!!
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