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Now That's What I Call Tom and Ben (in photos) (19)

Hang out the bunting, strike up the band, Tom and Ben are home.

Not quite in a jet draped with flags, awaiting a press corps and tumult of fans, more in a campervan, on a ferry, still wearing those flip-flops. And that vest. Probably.

So here's a best of Fordyce & Dirs, in photos and links to remind you of the past seven weeks' adventure.

You can check out all of .

Continue reading "Now That's What I Call Tom and Ben (in photos)"


Tom Fordyce

Heading back to old Blighty (85)

Calais ferry port, Monday morning - C鈥檈st tout. Seven weeks to the day that we set sail from Dover, hope in our hearts and three clean pairs of socks apiece in our luggage, the time has come for Ben and me to go home.

It鈥檚 a very quiet Bloggernaut the pair of us sit in today. For once the well-known brand of mp3 player is silent, the rugby ball motionless on the floor.

The rear of the campervan, as always, looks like a cross between an abandoned refugee camp and an explosion in a pant factory.

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Ben Dirs

Best job in the world (45)

Paris, Sunday - My mother phoned me this morning and asked me what I want for dinner on Monday night.

Mrs Dirs is a quality cook, but that鈥檚 not what I wanted to hear the morning after England played in a . This trip is over. Make mine a roast or I think I鈥檒l start crying.

My initial reaction to England鈥檚 defeat was pretty childish: 鈥渂othered鈥. Like most of the England fans still partying at 6am on Sunday morning, I was just happy to be there.

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Ben Dirs

Why Wilkinson is the main man (188)

Thursday morning, Paris - Former Middlesex and Durham seamer Simon Hughes tells a great story about an ageing bowling to the touring Australians at Chester-le-Street.

Botham, Hughes maintains, wasn鈥檛 doing anything with the ball at all, simply padding up to the crease and sending it down at a gentle military medium.

But to the Australian players, who were huddled in the pavilion, glued to the action and talking in reverential tones, every delivery was a potential hand-grenade.

It鈥檚 what sports people often refer to as 鈥減resence鈥, a word that has been used repeatedly in connection with Jonny Wilkinson ahead of Saturday鈥檚 World Cup final...

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Tom Fordyce

Desperately seeking a Cup final ticket (147)

Paris, Wednesday night - Suddenly, I feel as if I鈥檝e fallen into the plot of a cheap, tear-jerking melodrama.

After seven weeks, 12 matches and 4,500 miles together in Le Bloggernaut, are about to be split up on the eve of the biggest sporting event we鈥檝e ever experienced.

Two men, one ticket.

I never liked maths, and I like that particular sum about as much as Bernard Laporte likes shampoo.

Despite having been to more matches, travelled more miles and watched more minnows than anyone else we can think of, only one of us has been given the nod by the organisers for the World Cup final.

And it鈥檚 not me...

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Tom Fordyce

From Cape Town and Dover they came... (74)

The outskirts of Paris, Tuesday - 鈥淐onfidence,鈥 sang Elvis - 鈥淭here's no job too immense when you've got confidence.鈥

While was a hero to most, he never meant squit to me. But, as I鈥檝e strolled around in the last few days, the words of the be鈥檘uiffed porker have rung in my ears time and time again.

If there鈥檚 a Springboks fan out there who isn鈥檛 completely and utterly 100% certain that his side will win the World Cup on Saturday night, I鈥檝e yet to meet them.

Continue reading "From Cape Town and Dover they came..."


Ben Dirs

Ugly win a thing of beauty (372)

Paris - Big sporting occasions can mess with people's minds. On Saturday night, as my brains were being blown out by the , I found myself making the sign of the cross and I very nearly cried.

When I tell you that I鈥檓 not sure I believe in God and that I blub about once every 10 years, usually when watching , you get some idea of the mind-bending atmosphere that was swirling round the Stade de France as England beat the World Cup hosts.

The scenes after the final whistle will live long in the memory: French fans disappearing from the ground as quickly as bath water being sucked down a plughole; England fans roaring along to Wonderwall; the tears of Sebastien Chabal.

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Mark Orlovac

South Africa v Argentina player ratings (150)

Paris - It worked so well on Saturday we're continuing the Orlo/Dirsy blog partnership for the SA v Argentina ratings, but this time with added Fordyce!

Here are our player ratings for the Boks' semi-final win over the Pumas. I have rated South Africa and Ben and Tom are now so inseparable they have jointly rated Argentina.

Do you agree? Let us know your thoughts!

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Tom Fordyce

England in dreamland (349)

Paris, early hours of Sunday morning - Words - you fail me. Legs - you can鈥檛 hold me. Liver - stand by me.

I鈥檓 dreaming. I must be. Except in dreams I鈥檝e never thrown myself into the arms of a bug-eyed, bawling Benjamin Dirs while bellowing myself bandy and thumping myself on the legs like a banjaxed Keith Moon.

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Mark Orlovac

England v France player ratings (243)

Paris - A brand new partnership of me, Orlo, and him, Dirsy, together in one blog.

Here are our player ratings for England's semi-final against France. I have rated England and Dirsy's rated France.

Do you agree? Let us know your thoughts!

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Ben Dirs

Paris primed for English invasion (48)

I鈥檓 normally loathe to use military metaphors when writing about sport. Unless, of course, is playing at arrows, in which case, it鈥檚 entirely appropriate.

But, as I sit here tapping this out in a darkened hotel room, the glow from my laptop serving as my only light, I can鈥檛 help feeling like an army scout, sent into enemy territory to test the waters in advance of England鈥檚 invading hordes.

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Tom Fordyce

Quelque chose pour le weekend? (92)

The outskirts of Paris, Friday - Just one day to go now until .

Gulp.

Right now, Ben and I are incapable of doing almost anything except run round in ever-decreasing circles, squeaking in schoolgirl fashion before collapsing to the ground like a pair of over-dramatic old luvvies.

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Tom Fordyce

Gaga about Paris (57)

Macon, Wednesday, en route to Paris - 400 kilometres down, 400 to go.

At this stage of the trip, with the sunny pitches of the south disappearing in Le Bloggernaut鈥檚 dusty wake and the bug-battered bonnet pointing towards the autumnal north, we鈥檇 expected to feel as glum as in a library.

Instead, our chuggathon up the autoroute has seen the pair of us so sparkly-eyed and perma-smiled that we could pass for aged members of a particularly bad-looking boy-band.

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Ben Dirs

The journey to Paris begins... (52)

Aix-en-ProvenceTommy and I set sail from Marseille on Monday afternoon like a couple of battered sailors fleeing a storm and have now weighed anchor in the calmer waters of .

Thousands of others will have done the same and will now be cowering under duvets all over the globe, still struggling to come to terms with the weekend they鈥檝e just experienced.

There will never be another two days like it. Apart from next and , that is.

Continue reading "The journey to Paris begins..."


Tom Fordyce

Sweet and sour memories of Marseille (84)

Marseille, Monday morning - There鈥檚 no two ways about it 鈥 that was without doubt the greatest sporting weekend I鈥檝e ever been involved in.

Marseille this weekend has been a city drenched in beer, tension, disbelief, sorrow, happiness and wild, wide-eyed celebration.

Even now, with the streets finally emptying of campervans, sleeping fans and plastic pint pots, you can still almost feel the excitement bouncing off the sticky pavements.

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Ben Dirs

England spark Marseille party (154)

Marseille - More bad news for those who have been complaining about us wasting their licence fee for the last five weeks: 鈥nd we鈥檙e going with them!

Not even as I weaved my way through the puddles of sick and empty beer glasses that littered Marseille鈥檚 Old Port at 6am on Saturday did I think were going to beat Australia.

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主播大秀 Sport Rugby

England v Australia player ratings (263)

Marseille - Tom and Ben here, together in one blog. Here are our player ratings for England's quarter-final against Australia. Tom's rated England and Ben, Australia.

Do you agree? Let us know your thoughts!


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Tom Fordyce

Dang. Dana-nang neh-neh ne-ne-nah nang... (32)

Marseille, Friday morning - England probably think they鈥檝e got a tough task on their hands, in the World Cup quarter-finals this weekend.

They have. But I can tell them now that it won鈥檛 be as hard as driving Le Bloggernaut around a lap of the .

That鈥檚 right. On Thursday afternoon, fired up on baguette and an over-ripe piece of goat鈥檚 cheese, we took our stinking campervan into one of the world鈥檚 richest countries, put pedal to metal and let rip.

Continue reading "Dang. Dana-nang neh-neh ne-ne-nah nang..."


Ben Dirs

Old Port, old rivals (28)

Marseille - Down at Australia HQ in 鈥檚 Old Port, could only have looked more relaxed had they been receiving facials while fielding questions from the floor.

A slight murmur went up when I asked George Smith if he agreed with Australia Rugby Union chief executive John O鈥橬eill鈥檚 comments that all of his countrymen 鈥渉ate England鈥.

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Tom Fordyce

For those about to rock, we salute you (32)

Marseille, Tuesday morning - 鈥淥h, what an atmosphere!鈥 Ben chirped this morning. 鈥淚 love a party with a happy atmosphere!鈥

I sighed. No man likes to be woken up by a semi-naked rugby fan from , particularly when he鈥檚 dancing around singing lines from his favourite songs - but for once Dirsy had a point.

After four weeks of phoney wars and soggy squibs, the party feels like it鈥檚 truly about to start.

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Ben Dirs

Northern exposure leaves Dirsy depressed (79)

To lose one Six Nations side before the quarter-finals of a World Cup is unfortunate. To lose three just goes to show how stagnant and outmoded northern hemisphere rugby has become.

Some claim this tournament has proved that rugby runs stronger and deeper than ever before, with and cited as prime examples.

I don鈥檛 go for that. After all, the All Blacks and Australia have been gubbing the minnows at this World Cup just as they always have done.

I hesitate to pick on the Scots 鈥 at least they managed to scrape through their group - but it was our misfortune to witness which was the rugby equivalent of a wet weekend in Prestatyn with only a stack of LPs for company.

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Tom Fordyce

Lyon and the leggy lioness (26)

Lyon, Friday morning - 鈥淵ou know what?鈥 said Ben this morning, as he stared forlornly out of Le Bloggernaut鈥檚 windows at the whacking down outside. 鈥淲e鈥檙e halfway through our trip. We鈥檙e officially on the back nine.鈥

I looked up anxiously. Since that desperate night spent parked on an industrial estate in St Etienne, Ben鈥檚 mood has been as up and down as a garryowen.

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Ben Dirs

The glamour of the World Cup (52)

St Etienne - Those of you who have been complaining about us wasting your hard-earned cash for the last three weeks will be delighted to know that we awoke this morning in an industrial estate to the tune of hailstones ricocheting off the roof of The Bloggernaut.

And as we weaved our way through the breathtaking Rhone Valley on Wednesday, , comparisons with the west coast of Ireland became irresistible. Marseille this isn鈥檛.

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Tom Fordyce

Man against Mountain (42)

Bedoin, at the foot of Mont Ventoux, Wednesday morning - Some people are born foolish; some have foolishness thrust upon them. Very few combine both those traits, and then also happily embrace additional foolishness with arms outstretched.

It would appear that I am one of them.

My companion Degustation Dirs is fulfilling his cultural remit on this Francophile extravaganza by sampling , wine and he can lay his eager hands on. By idiotic contrast, I decided to break our journey from Montpellier to St Etienne by cycling up .

I know.

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Ben Dirs

Up close and personal with Namibia (16)

La Ciotat - Namibia may not be the most talented team at this World Cup but I鈥檇 wager they have one of the cosiest set-ups.

Situated in the town of , 20km from Marseille, their hotel has its toes dipped in the Med and is the sort of idyllic little place you鈥檇 plump for if you wanted to keep a mistress sweet.

Contrast this with Ireland鈥檚 HQ, a business hotel on the outskirts of and, if are to be believed, the scene of some disquiet.

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