Flighty work, what work? Just mind the vet
Posted: Monday, 13 February 2006 |
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Commentsresidency issues raise the thorny question of passport control - will you need an island only one and relevant id card (will you tolerate the fee?) - does London know the islands exist?
jas from central island
Madlamb, will you let the manse cat stand between you and love? Will you haver because of his scaremongering? Just write your profile and wear some longjohns! Secure the waist with a stout belt, seal the legs with Duck Tape and you'll be fine. This should also keep you snug while you're flying. Do cabin crews have special instructions for saxaphones in air emergencies over water. A sax would make the conventional whistle for attracting passing sailors seem a bit of a poor do. Perhaps one of Calum or Arnish's contacts at Callanish Air could advise?
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Subsidized airfare sounds like a great idea, but I assume it is for the islanders only. Pretty expensive from London to Sumbaugh or Kirkwall - particularly with the lowly dollar. My wife and I are planning to be up in Shetland (only) if in May, or in both Orkney and Shetland second part of June (if our daughter decides to join us). Takes some planning and time to get up north, whereas London is a skip and jump. Be kind to your veterinarians, or they'll become as scarce as your dentists in the north!!
mjc from NM,USA
Annie, it's not as simple as that. The manse cat is sleeping on my long johns in the airing cupboard and the husband is wearing the belt. I don't have any duct tape, will velcro do? Saxophones may not have special air instructions, but the thought of any islander attracting attention to themselves shows you have quite an imagination. I'm obviously not as forward as yourself, I'll need to get some courage up. I'll think about the profile on the ferry to the big town to meet my husband for a romantic liaison - it's either that or a white pudding supper. Did you hear Gary Robertson (主播大秀 Rad Scot) mention that the Western Isles have an overload of women and Manchester has an overload of men - so just the place for a future Fank - what do you think?
Mad Lamb from Hiding under the stairs in case the vet wants reve
A musician writes The Alto sax is best for hailing passing shipping in an emergency. A penny whistle is even better or even a piccolo if space is at a premium.Many victims of plane crashes have gone on to live useful lives in the media or work in television.
Hamish Selmer from Alto House North Dell Lewis
We at Callanish air supply an alto sax under every seat to be used in the event of any of our Spitfires having to ditch. We also use recycled paper for our sick bags and use Fairtrade Coffee as our inflight drink of choice.
Orville and Wilbur Branson from HQ PR Dept Callanish Air Lewis
Husband?! Now that's plain greedy madlamb. Maybe you could give us singletons some dating tips though. Is Orville the Duck running Callanish Air now? Has he split up from Keith Harris? I'd have thought they'd have had bagpipes on board for emergencies- a sound choice for attracting attention and short-sighted octopuses (Octopi? Octo-pie?) looking for love.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
MadLamb wants to CALL in the ships with her sax. Walsay needs lumber for their projected Up: a first in Orkney (?). If she plays the sax hard enough, not only lumber but barrels full of firewater should land on the shore. So long as those black-bearded Vikings don't start scalping visitors, the royal Peace will be maintained (even though swans seem to be disappearing off Hoy ... to the sound of modern classical music). And you thought the only Pirates were near Penzance ...
mjc from NM,USA
(I'm sure I said central belt in the first comment) - have you been hitting the sheep dip, madlamb, bbc scotland evening news last night was lamenting the shortage of women on Harris & Lewis! one woman for every three men, I'm sure someone somewhere will think that good odds!
jas from central belt
Annie, yes a husband - as to how I mananged it, I'm not sure. I applied to Blind Date years ago, but before I could go for the 'audition' he appeared. That's partly why I'm scared about writing a profile for the Fank, I don't want to accidentally end up with another. One is quite enough for any woman. <p> The only Advice I can give is... </p> a) be adventurous. <p> For some that might simply be putting chilli in your claphot (a local dish of potatoes and neeps). For me it was being towed in a broken car through central London - my calm seemed to impress him. Mind you he was in the car towing me and didn't hear all the exclamations towards heaven! I have since simplified this adventurous avenue by riding a motorbike. </p> b) surprise him at every opportunity. <p> Try putting a rubber glove in your long johns. If he finds it , it proves he's adventurous too, but WHEN he finds it, watching how he reacts will determine whether he is the man for you. (I haven't tried it, but I wish I did, it sounds a very simple way of determining the calibre of a man) </p> Hope this helps (ps if the message is full of odd signs, it was an attempt at html formatting - if it isn't it worked!!)
Mad Lamb from Husband Help Headquarters
If you want proof of my matching powers - just ask JAS, a friend of mine now married to a man from Harris. As for the Orkney dish - it should have said clapshot and not claphot, but that just might be a freudien slip to describe the Orkney men. Any more tips - just ask.
Mad Lamb from HHHQ
yeah, and I get to blame you for all my troubles since then...island men are tricky to train (but occasionally worth it)!
jas from madlamb target practice
One husband IS more than enough madlamb and yet - strangely - you don't sound like a bisom (and I'm awfy fussy). Anyway thanks for the most unexpected 'hunt the Marigolds' tip . Nothing predictable about bloggers, that's for sure. I'd be intrigued if any other tips match this one.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Clapshot is a universal dish, not particular to Orkney but claphot sounds more interesting although if you get it perhaps a visit to the clinic is the answer. Is this true about the men to women ratio on Harris? Has Annie Beag had a look over there? It's very kind of you to give us advice of how to keep a husband but we need to catch one first, can you give some practicle advice of how to work out who the suitable ones are and how not to choose the rubbish ones anyway?
Sunny from Arran
Looking at anything passing my way.
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