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An American, I've never really had much interaction with the people of England until... oddly enough ... I moved to Scotland. I'm about to celebrate two years of dwelling on one of the Orkney Islands and during these two years I've met many English men and English women. "The English" have always struck me as rather mellow, laid back, openly friendly and relativly peaceful folk.

Well... that is until I met English Mustard.

I made a potato salad today with fresh onions, new tatties, greek yogurt and a generous few dollops of this fragrant yellow stuff fae doon sooth. Upon sitting down at the dinner table I took a nice big bite, spat fire like a dragon and ran three laps around the farm while screaming for Erlend to throw water in my face..

I shall never look at The English the same way again...

I HAVE to share this... it's too funny!!

After I made my potato salad with that firey English Mustard I later attempted to dilute the inferno by dumping the leftover sauce into the container of plain greek yogurt with the intention of using it for my next few batches. I mixed it up, took a taste and belched fire yet again!! (Dilution obviously doesn't tame the mustard produced by the seemingly mellow English...)

Erlend came in for tea and grabbed the greek yogurt container from the fridge ~ something that I did not observe. I was heading off to grab something else when I looked over my shoulder just in time to see my husband blissfully aiming a spoonful of yellow yogurt towards his mouth. "ERLEND NO!!" I howled ~ but too late. The sauce disapeared into my hungry husband's mouth...

The look on his face was priceless!!! First there was stunned surprise, then a look of pain and finally a horrified cry of, "GAAAAHD! What the...?!" Erlend stared at me and then he stared at the container in his hand. "What happened tae the yogurt?!"

"That's the sauce for the tattie salad..." I meekly chirped from the doorway and then I busted up laughing and I couldn't stop for ten minutes straight! I had tears flooding down my cheeks and I even snorted like a pig!! I laughed and I laughed and... well, thankfully Erlend has a wonderful sense of humour and he's holding no bones against me for uh... setting him up for such an interesting English Mustard Moment...

(Oh lordy! I'm laughing again!! Can't...type...**Snort**...)

I totally failed in training my Isadore to be an ox. I made too many mistakes! So I've had to release him to the herd where he'll live for another year or so before being sold for beef.

I'm not going to totally give up on oxen yet... but at the moment my pregnancy is very painful so I'm not going to work with any calves for the time being. Personally I'd rather just have a friendly cob horse that'd enjoy being ridden about Orkney.

Poor Isadore. **Sniffle**

Today I celebrate my second year of living in Orkney! The other night Erlend and I were sitting near an old fisherman's hut at the Sandy Geo watching the sun set over the ocean and I told him, "I can't believe that I'm actually living in a place as beautiful as this!"

I think I've done well ~ a wonderful, handsome husband *and* a beautiful island! I couldn't have asked for more!

In the two years I've been here I've been left with the impression that Orkney is a very real place. Real as in... well, for one thing the harsh climate and the isolation (which makes travel an adventure!) truly levels the playing-field. You can't get full of yourself in a place where *everyone* endures the same long harsh winters and the need for ferries or planes in order to leave the islands! No one is special here in Orkney ~ we all have to go with the flow.

Orkney is also very real in the sense that folk here are working hard to earn a living to support themselves and their families. This is not some easy-peasy paradise where you can laze around and still make it in life! Sure, some folk are rich but being rich was never a crime! And who's to say they aren't working hard for that wealth? Even so, there's not a lot of class superiority here aboots ~ there's no shame in being a working class person earning a living in whatever job you happen to hold.

The realness also extends to the fact that there is not one dominant ideology that holds sway over everyones' minds. I've lived in places where this is so and it is not fun! No one likes to be told, "If you don't do this or wear that, then you are unnaceptable!" You can just be yourself here and yeah there are some jerks that laugh at you on the street but on the whole no one says, "You're WRONG for being who you are!" (There's always jerks... everywhere. I've met them all around the world!) As a woman I feel very free here because you can be a career woman or a stay-at-home woman and no one really cares. This kind of freedom is not so easily found in some of the other places where I've lived!! I really enjoy the relativly easy-going nature of this place in regards to women and their chosen careers ~ Working Woman or Domestic Engineer!!

One thing I've come to love about Orkney is the variety of folk that live here. We have Scots and Canadians, Orcadians and Americans, Germans, the English and their inferno mustard, Asians, folk from Burma, and the folks who own the Indian resturaunts ~ sorry but I'm not sure if they are from Pakistan or India? (Did I miss anyone else??) In short ther's a whole host of people from all over the world and I just love that!!!

This place is also very rich in art and music, culture, local talent of every kind... and tasty restaurants that make my mouth water just thinking about them!

There's even a monastery of monks on one of the islands!

And of course... who can ignore the natural beauty of Orkney? The rugged landscape... the sea... the hills and the heather... the cute towns and pretty farm lands...

Yeah, I can see myself spending the rest of my life here no problem at all!! And I can't wait to introduce our own peedie bairn to the wonders of living on these islands!!

Here's to two years in Orkney!!